Here I Go

I second-guess myself all the time. I hold on to a lot of fear. I fear that I’ll never be my best. I fear rejection. I fear pouring my heart into something just to be disappointed. I fear the hard work and enviable mistakes that are bound to follow. I forget that we all learn. I forget that there is no perfect equation in creativity. I forget that it’s in the mistakes that we find our way, our voice. I might not so easily lose my fear of being wrong, but I will choose to move forward anyway.

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6 Responses to Here I Go

  1. Dalene Peel says:

    That is why the Lord says to “fear not” so often, “be of a courage”. I feel the same way. But I am grateful for being able to move forward. Love you.

  2. lucy says:

    let the record show that I was first to comment on the very first post. I’m surprised and delighted that you fear….

    surprised bc I feel like you are one FEARLESS woman of God. I see the source of your security, which you remind me often should come from the Lord, and I see the way you give your heart for no good reason. You gave it to me, afterall, when we weren’t friends and I lied to you, when I was hanging on for dear spiritual life.

    and delighted bc your fears make you need God. Your fears humble you to advice and the Word. Your fears refine you in life, in relationships, in your heart. Your fears, if you guide them correctly, lead you to the foot of the cross where in submission and obedience, you claim your place as a beloved daughter of God, as a gracious and loving wife, and (most importantly to me) as my role model, sister, discipler, and friend.

    I’m grateful that you fear, and I’m grateful that you forward anyway, and that you teach me how to do it in love.

    1 John 4:18

    • christinepeel says:

      Thank you so much for your amazing and encouraging words. I love you! You are the first friend to comment but my Mom commented earlier and I totally forgot to approve it until now. I must now apologize to my mother.

  3. Lindsay Brice says:

    Fear not, right? Gosh — had I been restricted by every fear, I would not have at least 75% of my life.
    Once I had a beau who mentioned the lovely garden at the Bel-Air Hotel in Los Angeles. We lived in L.A. and passed the hotel many times. I heard that the hotel served Sunday Brunch among the swans in the water that ran through the garden, and once I suggested that we go. It wasn’t as if we didn’t go to restaurants, some modest, some expensive, but he said, “Oh, no, that’s for other people.” A year or two later, beau out of life, out of mind, my dear friend to this day asked if I’d like to meet for Sunday brunch at the Bel-Air. I was a bit startled — I asked if it were okay for us to go (did one have to be a guest of the hotel?). She responded, “What are you talking about?!” I told here what that limited beau had said, and she said, “Other people?! What people?! There are no other people!”
    There are no “other people.” You belong wherever you want to go, to be, and if you want to do something you’ve seen others do, do it! There are no other people!
    What a lovely brunch we had that Sunday, sipping champagne as swans passed, and what a great life lesson from my precious friend.

  4. Lindsay says:

    Oh! Neglected most important thing: If you have an idea to do something no one else has ever done, please, please do it! Whether one is a visual artist, an inventor, a writer, an actor, anything — if you have an idea that interests you (it will be a good idea because you are a good person), do society a favor and do it! Original thinking is priceless. True creativity in any discipline is a gift, a treasure for the original thinker, and for all who find inspiration and enrichment as a beneficiary of your gift. If you can take a flat doll all over New York, you are not so worried about what people think! I’ve looked like an oddball in the odd positions and vantage points I’ve felt I needed to get the photographs I’ve envisioned. Lots of people snicker when they see me in some peculiar circumstance while I am taking a photograph. I don’t hear snickers when people see those photographs. Remember Joseph Campbell: Follow your bliss.

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